Space Cactus

When I arrive, I ask permission to snap a few photos. I remind this beauty who I am, and how grateful I feel to be there. I felt lucky to have its unwavering attention for the evening. I suppose it can’t go anywhere, physically speaking anyway.

Once the initial moment of awe wanes during your first few visits to the cactus, one realizes this is a place of observation. I talk out loud. I reflect. A sanctuary tucked away yet fully exposed in nature. For me it’s become a court without consequence where freedom to be, affirmation, and divulgence bears no burden.

This evening I found my imagination carried upstream. There was a seasonal flow that formed; it sounded beautiful. I followed the wet wash upwards. I’d stop and squat down, peering into the moving water. I looked for life, mesmerized by reflections on the surface. I could see moving images. It was like my own private movie flowing in the stream. I came to a nice stopping point, sat and stared at the horizon. A beautiful perch to watch the sun’s radiation fade.

When I started my hike I swore I wouldn’t walk back in the dark. I don’t know why I made that rule, but I found myself breaking it easily. The skyward view birthed a blue crushed velvet, casually turning jet black as the minutes passed. My eyes wide, the night sky steeped in darkness. The stars easily piercing the night’s muslin tapestry, as pins do a pin cushion. I ached for just one of those stars to start moving.

I couldn’t help but walk, stop, snap a picture on the iPhone, walk more, and repeat. Tonight I was not being watched, I felt no eyes on me. No thoughts of large cats. I was safe, and I think that’s what allowed my attention to melt so beautifully upwards. I’d lose myself in observation of these wonderful moments.

My attention was drawn to the great warrior Orion. His belt one of the easiest arrangements to find. However, my fascination for the red supergiant Betelgeuse took center stage. I thought if I drew enough of my attention towards it, I might find a connection with those who live there. Would I be visited? As I imagined this fantasy, all else fell away. Where I was, who I was, time of day. If I just kept my attention trained, would something happen?

I often see things I cannot explain in the Arizona sky. Yes of course, plenty of satellites, I’ve spotted the ISS. Flash, pause, pause, pause, flash. But there is so much more to see up there.

Abruptly, I crashed back down to Earth. I heard loud rummaging in the bush nearby. Whatever was out there was big and noisy. I picked up a large rock. It was bigger than the palm of my hand, but I could still hold it. A few seconds later I gathered my wits and surmised it was a javelina. They are pig-like creatures; technically rodents. Their meat supposedly isn’t tasty. They do have a big ass tooth that could inflict some damage though.

I could hear how enveloped this animal was in rooting through the bush. They love eating cactus pears, and I am in the middle of more cactus than you could ever put your eyeballs on at once. How happy it must have been.

I set the rock back down, and laughed at myself a little bit. Before leaving the cactus earlier, I asked if I could see an owl tonight. As if the cactus had any pull here, maybe it would help one appear. I got a javelina instead. Not only is nature beautiful, but its got a great sense of humor.

I kept moving down the trail back toward the van. I kept stopping too, and looking up.

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